Who You Hang Around Influences Who You Will Become
How’s your personality trajectory? Do you like the person you are becoming? Do you feel you are becoming more like the person you want to be? If not, it may have something to do with the people you hang around. You will become like who you hang around.
Think through what kind of person you want to become. And consider the people you hang around. To change your personality trajectory, allow yourself to meet new people. You will become like the people you surround yourself with.
Here are three key questions you must ask yourself in order to be aware of the influence that the people you hang around have over you.
1. What kind of people do you hang around now?
I realize that you may not be able to choose with whom you spend most of your time. The people that you have to be with at work may not be the people you would choose to hang around. You may have to spend time with them in order to get done what you have to get done. But when you can choose whom you spend time with, whom do you choose to be with?
How do you spend your discretionary time? Where do you go when you can choose where to spend your time? Are you at home? or at work? Are you at church? or at the bar? What characterizes the people you hang around? Do they say things that build you up? Or do they say things that bring you down?
I used to hang around someone who was very sarcastic. After a while, I found that his sarcasm made me feel uncomfortable. Because I didn’t want his behavior to impact my personality trajectory, I realized I needed to spend less time around him. That was awkward to have to make that decision in the short run, but in the long run it was the right decision to make.
How about you? And how about the people you hang around? Do you need to make a change in order to change your personality trajectory?
2. How is the person you want to become different from the people you hang around?
Are you pleased with the person you are now? Or do you want to become better than you are now? How about the people that you hang around? Do they have similar goals that you do? Or are they content to be who they are now?
I came to faith when I was in college. It was a big change for me. Up to that time, I had engaged in partying on weekends. As I grew in my faith, partying had less and less of a hold on me. If I was serious about changing, I realized I couldn’t hang around with people who did what I used to do. So I had to change my friends in order to change my personality trajectory.
I know that may sound harsh, but remember: this is your life. You get to decide whom you choose to hang around and what thoughts you put into your mind. Don’t allow someone else to make that decision for you.
The people you hang around will either reinforce your personality trajectory or they will impede it. And you can choose the people you choose to hang around. Don’t just leave that up to chance. Think through who you want to be, and determine whether the people that you hang around now will help you to get where you want to be.
3. What kind of people should you meet to become the person you want to be?
If the people you hang around now are not the ones that you want to be like, then whom do you want to become more like?
Who are the people that you admire? Whose lives have turned out the way that you want yours to turn out like? Who has the results in their personal, professional, and spiritual lives that you want to have?
In becoming who I wanted to become, I have chosen to have different mentors for different areas of my life. I wanted to know what they knew and understand how they looked at the world.
I firmly believe in coaching: I am a coach, and I have been coached. In fact, I have paid a lot of money for the coaches I have had. It is worth the money it takes to invest in yourself to have the right coach. They have been where you want to go, and they have achieved the results that you want to achieve.
At the same time, you can also find people to hang around in your community who are like the people you want to be like. Once you figure out who you want to be like, then it behooves you to figure out how you can meet them. The best way to meet the right people is to be where they are. Where do these people congregate? Where do you have to go to meet them? Find them, spend time with them, and get to know them. And eventually you will become like them.
What’s your personality trajectory? Recognize what’s important to you, so you can become who you want to become. Then consider the people you hang around. Carefully choose whom you will hang around so you can reinforce the life that you want to live.
Do you need help with your personality trajectory? Do you want me to be your coach? Click the button to start the conversation.